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Can There be Too Much Dialogue in a Novel?

#WriteTip | Can There be Too Much Dialogue in a Novel?

This is another question I’ve seen authors ask online. It’s a good question. Dialogue is a necessary part of fiction, because dialogue it drives a lot of the plot.

But it is possible to have too much dialogue?

I suspect the answer is yes. It is possible to have too much dialogue. And like the old story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, it’s also possible to have too little.

As with Goldilocks, it’s partly a matter of taste. Some readers like fast-paced dialogue-heavy genres. Other readers prefer slower-paced narrative-heavy literary fiction. It’s a matter of personal style and author voice. But there are some instances where there can be too much or too little dialogue, and that’s often a writing issue rather than a style preference.

Too Much Dialogue

Too much dialogue, and the reader will start feeling that nothing is happening. And they’d be right. Dialogue without action is doesn’t move the story forward—in real life, or in fiction.

When else can we have too much dialogue?

  • When the dialogue isn’t adding to the plot.
  • When the dialogue is telling, not showing.
  • When the dialogue is telling and showing.
  • When the dialogue overwhelms the action.
  • When the dialogue is too predictable.

Lets look at each of these:

When the dialogue isn’t adding to the plot

Each scene in a novel has multiple purposes:

A good scene will enrich character, provide necessary information to the audience and move the plot forward.

Les Standiford in The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing

In the same way, good dialogue will enrich character, provide necessary information, and move the plot forward. This means avoiding conversations where nothing happens. Small talk is a natural part of everyday life, but it’s something we should avoid when writing fiction. If there is apparent small talk, then it should serve a larger purpose e.g. foreshadowing a future event.

Click here for information on foreshadowing, not telegraphing.

When the dialogue is telling, not showing.

One of the primary “rules” of modern fiction writing is to show, not tell. In general, dialogue is a form of action, and action is showing. As such, it’s easy to think there can’t be too much dialogue in a novel.

Click here for more guidance on showing, not telling.

In theory, dialogue is showing where narration is telling. But not always.

Sometimes there is an “as you know, Bob” conversation.

This is where two characters spend pages and pages sharing information they already know. That’s not a conversation real people would have in real life. It’s telling, because it’s the author using dialogue to share backstory or an info dump.

The fix here is to determine exactly what information the reader needs to know at this point of the story, and share it through a single line of dialogue, or through interior monologue.

Sometimes the conversation is shown rather than the action.

In this case, two characters sit down over a cup of tea or a meal and share information about an event that’s just occurred. This is different from the “as you know, Bob” conversation in that only one person in the conversation knows what happened, so the other person is learning this information at the same time as the reader. However, it’s still telling.

The fix here is to determine whether the events being related are significant enough to write as a scene. If so, write them as a scene. If not, keep the conversation brief and ensure the plot keeps moving forward.

When the dialogue is telling and showing.

Sometimes an author will show a conversation where a proposed future action is being discussed. For example, the teenagers are planning a party, or the Navy SEALs are planning their hostage rescue attempt. They will then show the event—the party or the rescue.

The problem here is that they are showing the same scene twice. If everything goes according to plan, it’s repetition. And while words or phrases can be repeated for effect, the same isn’t true at the scene level.

Also, readers have been trained to expect that we won’t read the same scene twice.

If we see the characters planning the party or the rescue attempt, we then expect it to go wrong. If it doesn’t, we wonder why the planning scene was included (and we’re secretly disappointed). However, this combination of scenes can be used to add tension when you do plan for something to go wrong. Your reader expects something to go wrong, but they don’t know what or when.

The fix is easy: if you show the planning scene and the action scene, cut the planning scene or tighten it to focus on the point where something will go wrong in the execution of the plan.

When the dialogue overwhelms the action.

A good novel has a balance between action, dialogue, and narration. Adding dialogue adds white space to the page. This gives the impression of pace in fiction, not least because dialogue tends to be short sentences and paragraphs.

In contrast, interior monologue and narration tend to have longer sentences and paragraphs, even when that narration is describing action. Too many long sentences and paragraphs, and the text will feel dense to the reader. They may start skipping (and they’ll probably be skipping ahead to the dialogue).

The fix here is to make sure each page has a balance of dialogue, action, interior monologue, and narrative.

When the dialogue is too predictable

We want to avoid predictable dialogue, in the same way as we want to avoid predictable plots. If the reader can predict the next line of dialogue, why do they need to read it? They don’t. And give them too many lines of predictable dialogue, and they’ll start skipping.

Some instructors warn writers against writing “on the nose” dialogue. That’s another way of saying predictable dialogue.

The fix is to mix up your dialogue. Have your characters give an unexpected response, or change the subject (something which is entirely normal in regular conversation).

Too Little Dialogue

It’s also possible to have too little dialogue. This is just as much of a problem as too much dialogue, because it can slow the pace of the novel and give the impression the plot isn’t moving forward. The main reason a novel has too little dialogue is because it has too much of something else—usually description or interior monologue.

Too much description

We need some description in our novels. In particular, it’s important to anchor the reader in the setting at the beginning of each scene. But too much description soon becomes telling, which is a problem.

Too much interior monologue

The other too much is interior monologue. While interior monologue is generally showing, too much can easily become telling. In particular, be wary of interrupting dialogue for long passages of interior monologue. Too much introspection and the reader can lose the plot—literally. I’ve read novels where I’ve had to turn back two or three pages when a character speaks so I can remember what was last said.

Click here to read my tips for writing interior monologue.

The fix here is to use interior monologue as a form of speaker attribution, but keep it to a sentence or two, and make sure the conversation (and the plot) keep moving forward.

Yes, there can be too much dialogue in a novel. There can also be too little. If you can be like Goldilocks and make sure your dialogue is just right, you’ll keep your readers happy.

Three Tips for Writing Strong Action Beats

Dialogue Tags | Three Tips for Writing Strong Action Beats

Last week, I discussed why “said” is the most effective speaker attribution. No, I’m not a fan of creative dialogue tags (she apologised unrepentantly).

But using “said” all the time can get boring and repetitive, and we don’t want our fiction to be boring or repetitive. What can we do?

Fortunately, there are several alternatives to said. These include:

  • Action beats
  • Dialogue cues
  • Interior monologue

Today I’m going to discuss action beats, and suggest three tips for writing strong action beats.

Action Beats

Action beats are used in fiction to break up the dialogue and Browne and King define action beats as:

The bits of action interspersed throughout a scene, such as a character walking to a window … Usually they involve physical gestures.

The advantage of using an action beat over a speaker attribution is that the action beat serves multiple purposes:

  • It breaks up the dialogue.
  • It tells the reader who is speaking.
  • It shows the reader something about the scene.
  • It provides a sense of progression and movement.
  • It also gets away from the perceived problem of overusing the boring “said”.

An action beat is visible, so it can be an action performed by the point of view character (when the point of view character is the speaker), or observed by the point of view character (when the point of view character isn’t the speaker).

There are three common problems with using action beats as dialogue tags:

  • Combining speaker attributions and action beats.
  • Using boring action beats.
  • Using too many action beats.

Combining Speaker Attributions and Action Beats

There is no need for a speaker attribution if you’re also using an action beat, because the action beat fulfils the role of the speaker attribution. For example:

“I’m sorry,” Jane said, and looked at the floor.

Becomes:

“I’m sorry.” Jane looked at the floor.

Cutting the speaker attribution will tighten the writing and improve the pace.

Using Boring Action Beats

An action beat is your opportunity to show what is happening. But many authors use the same action beats over and over, to the point when they become boring. For example:

  • Jack blinked.
  • Jack nodded.
  • Jack shrugged.
  • Jack smiled.

It’s not that there is anything wrong with any of these beats. The issue is they tend to be overused—one original smile shows something about the character. One hundred smiles shows nothing. The trick is to take the plain “she smiled” and expand it to a more powerful smile, one that shows the reader more about the character.

There was nothing happy about Jack’s smile. It was more Hannibal Lecter meets The Joker.

Or:

Jack smiled a slow smile, a smile that said he had all the time in the world and nowhere else he’d rather be.

The right smile (or nod or shrug or blink) will obviously depend on your character and the specific scene. Play around with your actions, and see how you can strengthen your action beats. If you can’t strengthen them, can you use a speaker attribution, a line of interior monologue, or a dialogue cue instead?

Sometimes authors take these boring but functional action beats and turn them into telling:

  • Jack blinked in confusion.
  • Jack nodded in agreement.
  • Jack shrugged indecisively.

Why are these telling? Because they are not visual, or because they are predictable. What does a confused blink look like? When do we nod except in agreement? Again, use your imagination to see how you can strengthen your action beats and use them to deepen character and move the plot forward.

Jack blinked long and slow, so long and slow she could have fallen asleep between one blink and the next.

Or:

Jack blinked twice and his left eye crinkled at the corner. Jane was sure he had no idea what she was talking about. Typical.

Or perhaps Jack doesn’t blink at all (and perhaps he’s not confused):

Jack looked left, right, up, down. Anywhere but at her. Either he had no idea what she was talking about, or he was trying to dream up a convincing lie. He looked up and left again, his usual tell when he was trying to come up with a creative yet convincing response. That look said he was guilty. Big surprise. Not.

Boring action beats make excellent placeholders in you first draft, because they don’t require any thought. But ensure that you revise the boring beats into something fresh when you edit. Use action beats, interior monologue, or dialogue cues to better show the action and emotion.

Even better, use body language to show the emotion—what’s going on behind the scene. The following resources will help you come up with fresh action beats to better show emotion:

Using Too Many Action Beats

Some authors pepper their dialogue with action beats, to the point where the dialogue becomes a ping-pong match. Remember, the purpose of the action beat is to identify who is speaking and make the scene visible.

For example:

“Hi.” Jake lifted a hand in greeting. “How are you?” He put his hand in his pocket. “I haven’t seen you around for a while.” He looked away, unable to meet my eyes. Was he embarrassed?

For example:

“Hi.” Jake lifted a hand in greeting. “How are you?” He put his hand in his pocket. “I haven’t seen you around for a while.” He looked away, unable to meet my eyes. Was he embarrassed?

Instead, pare back the action beats to focus on what’s important:

“Hi, Jane. How are you?” Jake looked past me, unable to meet my eyes. “I haven’t seen you around in a while.”

As James Scott Bell points out:

Too many action tags will wear the reader out. Variety is called for, and often the best choice is no tag at all.

So ensure your action beats add to the scene, rather than taking away from it.

 

I’ll be back next week to discuss two more alternatives to “said”—interior monologue, and dialogue cues.

 

5 Tips for Writing Realistic Dialogue in Fiction

#WriteTips | 5 Tips for Writing Realistic Dialogue in Fiction

Dialogue is one of the most important aspects of a novel. Great dialogue enhances characterisation, and moves the plot forward. But stilted or unrealistic dialogue makes a novel difficult to read, and can encourage the reader to abandon the novel (#TrueStory).

Dialogue needs to read like words real people will say, but it also needs to read smoothly and have meaning. This means eliminating some of the ums and ahs and repetition we have in real-life dialogue. But it doesn’t mean replacing them with long, grammatically perfect sentences that no one would ever say in real life.

Here are some tips for writing great dialogue:

Dialogue should sound natural.

It’s not natural—because it doesn’t have all those ums and ahs and interjections and interruptions and subject changes that are features of a real conversation. But it needs to sound natural.

That means:

  • Short sentences.
  • Simple sentences.
  • Sentence fragments.
  • Avoid adjectives (because we don’t usually use adjectives in our everyday conversation).
  • Use adverbs (use them sparingly, but you can use them. After all, most people do use adverbs when they talk, which is probably why so many slip into our writing).

A simple sentence is subject – verb – object:

“I love you.”

When we talk in real life, we’re more likely to use a succession of short sentences than a longer, complex sentence. Which of these sounds more like how real people talk?

I love dogs, because they’re always so affectionate.
I love dogs. They’re so affectionate.

Both paragraphs are grammatically correct, but the second sounds more like real-life dialogue.

In contrast, interior monologue can be full of complex sentences, because that’s more like how we think:

I love dogs, the way they’re so affectionate. Not like cats. Cats can be cuddly and all, but it’s all on their terms. They can be affectionate, but they can also be really standoffish.

Writing overly formal dialogue can lead to writing sentences that no one would say in real life, or that are impossible to read aloud (punctuation is your friend, people). Some authors find that dictating their manuscript helps ensure their dialogue reads and sounds like a real conversation.

Use Realistic Vocabulary

The vocabulary in dialogue should fit the specific character:

  • Age
  • Education level
  • Culture
  • Where they live

An adult is going to use more complex vocabulary than a child (unless the child is particularly precocious). A university professor is going to use more complex vocabulary than a manual worker (unless that manual worker is working to support their PhD studies).

Use Contractions

Most of us use contractions when we speak, so it feels unnatural to read dialogue that does not use contractions. But there are exceptions:

  • If the novel is historical fiction (i.e. before Tudor times).
  • If the character speaks English as a second language.
  • If the character is speaking another language.
  • If the scene calls for formal language e.g. a police officer giving evidence in court.

Avoid Dialect Spellings

Some authors use nonstandard spelling to indicate the character’s accent. I find this distracting. Sometimes it’s distracting because I can’t work out the word, so I have to stop and sound it out to understand the passage. And sometimes it’s distracting because the nonstandard spelling is how I pronounce the word, so I’m left wondering how the author pronounces the word.

Here’s an example, from Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh:

Ah tried tae keep ma attention oan the Jean-Claude Van Damme video. As happens in such moveis, they started oaf wi an obligatory dramatic opening. Then the next phrase ay the picture involved building up the tension through introducing the dastardly villain and sticking the weak plot togither. Any minute now though, auld Jean-Claude’s ready to git doon tae some serious swedgin.

I am obviously not the target reader for Trainspotting, because I find this virtually unreadable (and inconsistent: Walsh has only used dialect for common words:

  • ah for I
  • tae for to
  • ma for my
  • oaf for off
  • wi for with
  • ay for of

The less common words are spelled correctly—introducing the darstadly villain. Surely someone who says ma for my and wi for with would say intraducin, not introducing? As such, the spelling feels inconsistent.

I therefore recommend the following:

  • If the word is English, use the dictionary spelling.
  • If the word isn’t English, use the relevant dictionary spelling.
  • Use slang where appropriate.
  • Use regional vocabulary where
  • Use word order to indicate accent or nonstandard usage

Ensure Dialogue Doesn’t Tell

One of the major “rules” of modern fiction is to show, not tell. Dialogue should be showing, but sometimes dialogue slips into telling e.g., when the characters are telling each other things they already know, or when dialogue is used to share backstory.

 

So those are my five tips for writing realistic dialogue in fiction. I’ll be back next week to discuss one area where telling often slips in—in dialogue tags.