Last week, I shared some tips for writing believable dialogue, given that dialogue is one of the main ways we can show plot movement and characterisation in a novel. But no discussion around dialogue is complete without adding advice on dialogue tags.
Dialogue tags are how we indicate to readers which character is speaking.
There are four main types of dialogue tags:
- Speaker attributions
- Action beats
- Internal monologue
- Dialogue cues
This post will focus on speaker attributions, and I’ll discuss the others next week.
Speaker Attributions
The most common dialogue tag is the speaker attribution, and the most common speaker attribution is “said”.
Said is invisible (mostly).
Other common speaker attributions include:
- Asked: when the character is asking a question (some authors use “said” for questions, but I don’t always think that’s a smooth read).
- Whispered: when a character is whispering.
- Shouted: when a character is shouting.
You might prefer to use yelled instead of shouted. Shouted can sound unnecessarily formal—it depends on your genre, your writing voice, and your character voice. I suspect I shout, but my teenagers yell. Or it may be enough to use an exclamation mark to indicate shouting (or yelling).
Many authors feel that using said all the time is boring. It can feel that way, especially if you’re reading your manuscript aloud or listening to an audiobook. If you don’t want to use said, then use one of the other three types of dialogue tag. The important thing is to ensure your reader knows who is speaking, and that you’re able to give the reader that information without breaking the flow of the story.
Creative Speaker Attributions
Some authors like to use alternative speaker attributions. I see two problems with these:
- Some alternatives are actually action beats or dialogue cues, and should be punctuated as such (click here to read my advice on how to punctuate dialogue in fiction).
- Other alternatives are what Browne and King call these creative dialogue tags and what Margie Lawson calls them telling tags. They are telling where the narrative should be showing. And that’s rarely a good idea.
Let’s look at some examples.
She laughed.
Have you ever tried laughing while you talk? It’s possible … but very unattractive, and whatever you say is likely to be unintelligible. Try it. Then revise your work to show how your character is actually talking. For example, instead of:
“That’s so funny,” she laughed.
Try:
“That … that’s …” She was laughing so hard that she couldn’t get the words out. “That’s so … so funny.”
No, that’s not going to win any prizes. But it does a better job of showing the character than a boring “she laughed”.
She smiled.
Yes, it’s possible to smile while you talk, but I always end up feeling like Tour Guide Barbie. It’s not a natural use of my facial muscles. Smiling is an action, not a way of talking.
She cried.
Crying is an action. Sure, we can talk while we’re crying (which is difficult if not impossible to do while we’re laughing), but the two actions are separate. We talk. We cry.
In earlier days, authors would use “she cried” as a dialogue tag and we all understood it was referring to tone. But modern readers might not understand that. When my daughter was about ten, she was reading a novel which used “she cried” a lot. My daughter took this literally, and asked me why Jane cried so much.
She barked.
Dogs bark. I suppose wolves and foxes bark as well. But we generally consider that people who bark have mental health issues. Or they might be weredogs or other werecreatures (if you’re writing paranormal).
Yes, an army officer might “bark” an order. But take the opportunity to use a dialogue tag to show us the character’s voice: is that bark the bark of a guard dog, a farm dog or a lap dog? Golden retriever, Shu-Tsu, or mutt?
“Now!” The CO’s words were a deep bark with a hint of warning, more Alsatian guard dog than happy Labrador welcome.
She whined.
Again, this might be appropriate if you’re writing about weredogs or werewolves. But for humans, whining is describing the tone of voice. It’s a dialogue cue.
Instead of:
“I don’t want to go to bed,” Jane whined.
Try:
“I don’t want to go to bed,” Jane said with that annoying whine in her voice, the whine that shifted my mindset from Mary Poppins to Bad Nanny.
Get the Dialogue Tags Right
Avoid using adverbs in your dialogue tags. They are almost always telling when you should be showing. For example:
“I’m sorry,” Jane said nervously.
Such tags are often referred to as Tom Swifty’s, from the Tom Swift novels of the 1910s. Some are amusing to the point of being ridiculous:
“Is it nuclear?” Tom asked glowingly.
Sometimes they are repeating the dialogue, which can be the sign of a less confident writer. Trust that your dialogue is strong enough.
“I’m sorry,” Jane said apologetically.
Yes, I have seen that in a manuscript. The reader will assume from the dialogue that Jane is apologetic. If she isn’t, use an action beat or dialogue cue to show us how she is feeling:
“I’m sorry.” Jane stared at the floor.
“I’m sorry.” Jane rolled her eyes.
In the same vein, don’t use the dialogue tag to telegraph what the dialogue is about to show:
“I’m sorry.” Changing the subject, Jane asked, “When’s breakfast?”
Either the reader is clever enough to notice the speaker has changed the subject … or the speaker didn’t change the subject (in which case, you need to strengthen the dialogue). That’s stronger writing. Relying on a telling tag is weak writing.
Other Dialogue Tips
In general, it’s best to start the paragraph with dialogue (action), then add the speaker attribution (or other dialogue tag) in a logical break in the dialogue.
In most cases, start the speaker attribution with the character’s name:
“I’m sorry,” Jane said.
Writing the attribution the other way around reads as old-fashioned and a little childish:
“I’m sorry,” said Jane.
We haven’t used “said he” since around 1900. But if you’re writing historical fiction set in Victorian England or Gilded Age America (or earlier), then the “said Jane” formation might be a subtle way of reinforcing your setting.
Yes, you can occasionally break any or all of these rules, But break them knowingly, with purpose, for literary effect. And do it rarely.
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